What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do people mourn when their leaders lose elections? Is it common for people to cry over events that are out of their control?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

How can one select funeral songs that truly celebrate the essence of a loved one’s life while providing comfort to attendees?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why is the US going after Canada after all? What is the reason for all this hostility?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Why do older men like to get anal sex?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Make Nazis afraid again!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

How do scammers communicate? Do they have a specific language or slang?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why do we exist, and why are we conscious?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Why are people of mixed race seen as more attractive than non-mixed-race people?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why is Harley-Davidson dropping diversity initiatives after the right-wing anti-DEI campaign?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.